What I Tell Myself, Before Indulging in Midnight Junk Foods

12:14 AM

I'll be the first to let it out: I am a Registered Nurse, doing a PhD in Nursing Science. Yes, I know I have 'HEALTH' plastered all over my forehead. I can recite the consequences of eating late and worse, foods high in sugar, in my sleep. But my dear, let me tell you, all that knowledge flies out of the window when it hits midnight and I'm reading or writing.

So, it's another night, doing the same-old routine. I had been fighting the war in my mind against the ice cream and scones that have been calling my name for the last 5 hours. I mean, they have been screaming my name; even adding pet-names to it too.

Winie Darling ....... Come na!

Winie Sweetheart ...... I promise it would be worth your time

Wini Baybei ....... Oya come and have a bite.

I had employed all the tricks I know, including gulping water to fill up my stomach and going for a healthier choice, AKA Banana. For where? No remedy. 

I had even gone for extreme measures like taking a shower, and staring at myself in the mirror to remind myself of the places that should stay without fat. My people, nothing was working.

My patience began to run thin, and I was slowly caving. My options were literally: close your eyes and SLEEP now, or carry yourself to that kitchen and satisfy these cravings. Since I have too much work to sleep, I started gradually choosing the second option. My brain was divided into two sides at this point; one that wanted the cravings and the other that wanted to do the right thing. I decided to convince the other side that wants to do the right thing to join us. You see, for me to enjoy this junk-food, we have to be on one accord. I employed the lawyer-side of my brain to do the work.

LW = Lawyer Winie
SW = Smart Winie
JW = Judge Winie

LW = Dear honorable court in Winie's head, I petition that you all come together and agree to allow my client fulfill her midnight cravings. Now I know what you are thinking: 'it is unhealthy', 'it will make her add unnecessary weight', 'she is in healthcare; she should know better', 'there are healthier alternatives', to mention a few. I have taken all those into consideration and my client has agreed to make the following compromise.

a) She will take her behind to the gym in her apartment that she has been paying for but not using, TOMORROW.

b) She will avoid foods high in sugar tomorrow, to make up for the excess she is about to consume.

c) She will only take a few scoops of ice cream. Although my client will be subjective in her definition of a few scoops, she promises to be RESPONSIBLE.

d) She will stay away from desserts for the rest of the week;once again, to make up for the excess she is about to consume.

SW = Objection my lord! The proposed compromises are subjective and irrelevant. It is wrong to eat late at night, period!

LW = My lord, if you would allow me, you will see the point I'm trying to make.

JW = Objection Overruled!

LW = Thank you my Lord! As I was saying, my client has done due diligence to fight these cravings. Everyone in this committee will agree that this doesn't happen all the time. A little indulgence once in a while does not lead to extreme consequences. My client is seriously struggling. She has done all she needs to do and would be relieved, if she got your permission.

SW = Objection my lord! Clearly, no point has been made. This issue should not be handled with sentiments, but with the truth. Health is wealth.

The court session was still going on, when my legs carried me to the kitchen, and my hands arranged the scones beside a huge scoop of ice-cream. I was about to put the yummy butter-rum scones and vanilla ice cream in my mouth.............when I came out of my imagination.

Make it a Winning-Day

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  1. I was almost sure, ALMOST sure how this would end. lmao. Nice curve dia ;)

    Btw, next time I want to commit, I'm using your court.

    1. LOL...Thanks Dear! Abeg, we are looking for Clients!


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